Today was not great, understatement- it was rubbish! Or more to the point I'm rubbish. I had my weigh-in with my HCA and it's fair to say I left feeling more than a little disappointed in myself. I've put on nearly half a pound in the 4 weeks since I was last officially weighed. I knew deep down that there wasn't going to be a loss. I've openly admitted that I've struggled not having my fortnightly weigh-ins and I did slack off after having a successful previous weigh-in. I really think in my head I was like "I did well last time so I don't have to work so hard for now", as messed up as it sounds I think that's the reason for my failure. I feel truly awful and sad and mad at myself.
I'm particularly upset as I'm certain I've ruined my chances of achieving my mini-goal of losing my first full stone by the time my parents come to visit (in just under two days). I'll weigh myself on Thursday (saying that I weigh myself a everyday anyway...) to see but I'm sure it won't happen. I really need to be mindful over this next week and a bit as no doubt we will eat out more than usual. I don't want to set myself up to fail, but maybe (just MAYBE) if I behave diet wise then I can lose the 2.5lbs to allow me to have lost my first stone by the time my parents leave (19/07/12).
The only positive that I learnt today was that I've lost another cm off my waist- certainly nothing to brag about but I guess it's better to lose a little than nothing at all. I also realised how supportive my HCA really is. I have my gym induction tomorrow after work and she wants me to call her before my next appointment in 2 weeks time to find out how I get on. She's so positive and insists I'm being too hard on myself and thinks I've done ok considering I've struggled so much. But I'm sure most of you can relate to how it feels when you've really let yourself down. My husband also said he's starting to notice a difference in me, which is encouraging. But I felt like I was at my rock bottom today and I need to remember how this disappointment feels so that I do all that I can to not let this happen again.
So, it's time to pick my sorry self up; brush myself off and get on with it.